Thunder.

It's something to listen to thunder with someone you enjoy.

Making Plans 101: Never make plans

My friend CBR and I have been spending a ton of time together lately. Granted she is moving away soon so I making a point to spend every possibly moment with her. More importantly we are spending this time together because we made plans to do so. Last night during our farewell I said "I hope you don't feel like I am trying to hog you! I mean I am but I don't want you to feel that way!"

Her response was simply, "I don't. Plus, You're the only one who will make PLANS!"

So, people! What is the deal! What is so wrong with making plans???? I consider myself to be fairly spontaneous and free spirited. But I don't mind making plans. I accept that I am strange breed. I can be chaotic yet love planners, and the idea of organization. I also like to see people. I like to make time for people and for myself. So I make plans.

That way when too many things come up I can say "oh I can't I have plans. But. let's do something tomorrow or this weekend."

Most people I know have jobs... very few of them have 9-5 jobs so planning is integral in maintaining those relationships. Yes, I used the "R" word. Im ok with it.

So how do people do it? The people that are never making plans? How do they have relationships that are consistent and worthwhile if they are not making plans? Are they just sitting around waiting for some to call so they can pounce on the phone and say, "Oh, me? I'm not doing anything... just hanging... sure I can XYZ..."

Should I be more like that? I am to a degree but there is comfort in knowing that on Tuesday I will be going to the movies with Caitlin so I have to have my work done and can't play Wii with Timmy... or whatever.

I have a friend who i very much enjoy spending time with but he never likes to make plans. We have very different schedules. For a long time we operated on a day by day, case by case basis. Fine. But that is exhausting. Who knows maybe I am not at all free moving. Which is why I want plans.

I don't think I am asking for much. Just something to look forward too.

Thursday.

Sometimes there is simply nothing to say. 

ExtraOrdinary

I don't consider myself to be the type of girl that listens to "angry chick rock;" however,  I do love me some Fiona. Especially "Extraordinary Machine." My former roommate, Hendrick, used to make fun of me because my favorite song of hers was the title track to an album. "The title track can't be your favorite song, that is lame!" Perhaps he is right but I dont care I love it! SO - Here is some "Extraordinary Machine"  Thanks Fiona Apple.

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes   

(anyone who knows me knows that I love shoes, and yes these are new!) 

And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around   

(I would say that over-involved began to describe me in the 3rd grade) 

I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb   

(But all the sights there are to see!) 

But I'm good at being uncomfortable so I can't stop changing all the time   

(I've learned to be awkward from the best of them! I think being uncomfortable is how you grow, how  you figure out what it is that you do actually want.)   

I noticed that my opponent is always on the go  

And won't go slow so as not to focus and I notice  

(This is probably true... remember my last year of college, when did I breath? I stack those plates high  on purpose, there is no denying that)  

He'll hitch a ride with any guide as long as they go fast from whence he came   

(I think that people often "run" from confrontation, especially from those that they trust and want to be  trusted by.) 

But he's no good at being uncomfortable so he can't stop staying exactly the same   

(This idea aggravates me.)   

If there was a better way to go then it would find me   

(I'm not saying that I would take it, I have been known to seek out the hard way.) 

I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me   

(I like the hard way, there are more opportunities to learn things, meet people, figure out how to deal,  heartache can be a good thing (sometimes).) 

Be kind to me or treat me mean   

(But always be honest.) 

I'll make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine  

(At least I want to be.)   

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day  

 (Disasters are relative) 

You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay   

(The way I see it, shouldn't I be the one determining this...) 

I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way   

(In the words of Big D and the Kids Table..."I will not be a slave to time, time must learn to roll with  me.") 

And say I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

(I find this pessimistic)

 Fiona was talking about relationships or probably a specific relationship - I'm talking about it all. If you know me, I assume you do or why would you be reading my blog (creep), you know commitment freaks me out, relationships make me ramble and stumble, time stresses me like none other and that I have all the heart it takes to love you if you want me to. (Sometimes even if you don't - Dan)  Love of course being all forms of love. I think it make sense. There are too few moments and too many memories not to love each one. Too many smiles I've been blessed to have not to be thankful. Too many hours of nothing but pure laughter for laughter sake not to appreciate those that I love.  

Some really "important" female writer of sometime between 1970 - 1985 wrote once, "when two people meet, some form of love occurs." I agree with that. Now, your most likely thinking "what about when you meet someone and they suck and you know just as Pooh Bear knows he loves honey that you cannot like this person let alone spend another second with them!" My response - love occurs, even if it within yourself, even if it a greater appreciation (love) for those you know that are nothing like this person, love for the fact that you have the ability to recognize who you do not want to be like. 

In case you don't know me that well, know that I definitely do not love everyone. Many yes - some people say that is wrong, but they must not have met the people I know - I have little patience for what I think is a waste. Even less patience for people who don't care about the people they surround themselves with. I mean you KNOW I think most people underestimate the idea of community.  

I've been thinking about Nepal more these days. I think I don't know how I get there. Not literally. I mean I know how to buy a ticket and pitch a small tent. What I think I am unsure of is how I take the time to go. Funny, I like to think of myself as someone who is a "Free Spirit" (To barrow from Tamara) but I like being a contributing member of society. I like having responsibility. So I how do I take this need for contribution and still pack up and go on the adventure of my life, find the people that have sparked years of curiosity, climb the mountain of all mountains. I just to it. Right. Right.  

I enjoy Anthony Bourdain. 

 

Absenteeism

To Whom It May Concern:

Please excuse Margi from her absence. She has been preoccupied. She will try harder to get it together.

Thank you.

Sigh...

So its been almost a year since I last wrote on this thing. I can't believe that much time has passed. It is going by so quickly, too quickly. I am not ready for what lies ahead. So many things.

2010.

New school, new students, new friends, same commute - mostly, new books, better books, same tiny apartment - tiny, feeling so tiny, same messy desk, same qualms with the dryer, new love for lil wayne - hahahahah but seriously, same best friends, same favorite person in the world, new like interests, new shopping patterns - much more dangerous! Same love for a dance party, new people to D.A.N.C.E. with, same love for NEW MEXICO, new love for CHICAGO, new roommate, some love for the old ones. Same feeling of overwhelming disorganization! 

"I used to be a writer." Can you stop being a writer? Am I vacationing? Can you vacation from something like writing? I wonder? I was reading my friends blog and she mentioned that she journaled for 45 mins the other night. I thought, "Man, I used to write for hours, drink cup after cup of miserable coffee and write, write, write, write and doodle." I cant remember the last time I wrote something for real. It was probably in class. Not the last writing class I took because we didn't write in that class....PS: Don't take Diane Thiel...you don't write in her class...we talked about what we "wrote about." So that must mean that the last time I actually wrote something was in Greg Martin's class (HOT!). Three years ago. Sad. I used to be writer. 

It is cold. Very Cold. 

Things are changing...for the better...which is for the best.

I used to hate it here. Here being Chicago. Not just because of the snow, the traffic, the lack of trees, the lack stars, the nonexistence of mountains. Not just because of those things. I hated it here because I felt so different. I was in place where no one knew me, a very new feeling for me. Not to be self absorbed but I was spoiled by Albuquerque. I used to hate it because there was no air to breath that tasted like rain. No dirt to whip away after a strong breeze. No cold flashes under the 110 degree sun. I miss that! 

I love it here. Sure it's cold. The blistering wind is similar to the dust blowing New Mexican zephyr. I can't really saw what it is, what changed my mind. I have actually become more busy so I've seen my friends less. So, it can't be that. I wonder what it is? This slushy snow is annoying. Waiting for the bus when it is -15 out sucks. Regardless, I like it here. I'm happy here. 

So I agree, Chicago - Mid West city, best city in the whole wide....mid west. (Sorry I can't give it the world....there are too many places out there!)

ACT APT

Remember how bored you were taking the ACT?


Well, try proctoring it, or worse yet supervising it. Watching 9 students take the ACT is probably the most boring thing I have ever done. If not the most definitely in the top 3.

With that said I must admit that sitting and walking around the room while my one group of students struggled with their OMITS And NO CHANGE responses I felt a sense of "grown up" -ness. I decided that proctoring the ACT not only makes me more grown up than I am willing to but also more of a teacher than I was a week ago. I mean how many people do I know that have had to sit through the silent misery of watching 17 year olds fill in bubbles.

As test supervisors we were not allowed to do anything. I couldn't grade papers, read, eat clementines - nothing. According the rule book I wasn't even allowed to drink the water they gave me during snack time. But since they gave it me I drank it. I know - REBEL! 

I had one kid get his test invalidated because he went back and filled in bubbles from test 1 during test 2. I was the only one who had to invalidate a test. 

This made me think....perhaps I am too much. Too much of a rule follower. I could have easily turned my head and said nothing and the kid would have finished his ACT and life would have gone on. I'm not sure if I feel bad. It was only a practice. So it doesnt really matter....I mean really...right???

Anywho...I don't want to have to sit through that again.