Things are changing...for the better...which is for the best.

I used to hate it here. Here being Chicago. Not just because of the snow, the traffic, the lack of trees, the lack stars, the nonexistence of mountains. Not just because of those things. I hated it here because I felt so different. I was in place where no one knew me, a very new feeling for me. Not to be self absorbed but I was spoiled by Albuquerque. I used to hate it because there was no air to breath that tasted like rain. No dirt to whip away after a strong breeze. No cold flashes under the 110 degree sun. I miss that! 

I love it here. Sure it's cold. The blistering wind is similar to the dust blowing New Mexican zephyr. I can't really saw what it is, what changed my mind. I have actually become more busy so I've seen my friends less. So, it can't be that. I wonder what it is? This slushy snow is annoying. Waiting for the bus when it is -15 out sucks. Regardless, I like it here. I'm happy here. 

So I agree, Chicago - Mid West city, best city in the whole wide....mid west. (Sorry I can't give it the world....there are too many places out there!)

ACT APT

Remember how bored you were taking the ACT?


Well, try proctoring it, or worse yet supervising it. Watching 9 students take the ACT is probably the most boring thing I have ever done. If not the most definitely in the top 3.

With that said I must admit that sitting and walking around the room while my one group of students struggled with their OMITS And NO CHANGE responses I felt a sense of "grown up" -ness. I decided that proctoring the ACT not only makes me more grown up than I am willing to but also more of a teacher than I was a week ago. I mean how many people do I know that have had to sit through the silent misery of watching 17 year olds fill in bubbles.

As test supervisors we were not allowed to do anything. I couldn't grade papers, read, eat clementines - nothing. According the rule book I wasn't even allowed to drink the water they gave me during snack time. But since they gave it me I drank it. I know - REBEL! 

I had one kid get his test invalidated because he went back and filled in bubbles from test 1 during test 2. I was the only one who had to invalidate a test. 

This made me think....perhaps I am too much. Too much of a rule follower. I could have easily turned my head and said nothing and the kid would have finished his ACT and life would have gone on. I'm not sure if I feel bad. It was only a practice. So it doesnt really matter....I mean really...right???

Anywho...I don't want to have to sit through that again. 

You gave me a cart and then you fired me!

"you are already crying... This letter is to inform you that you are not being invited back next year..."

It's official I have been fired, laid off, not asked back, cut for budget reasons, cut because I do not have tenure and the Chicago Teachers Union is a load of crap. What ever you call it I will not be returning to Harper High School next year. I will not have a room a Harper, I will not be pushing the lap top cart around in the 09 10 school year. I will not need to find someone to let me in the women's bathroom next to the English department ever again. If you know me, you know I cried about it. I did. I cried. I had a beer with some other teachers that were also not invited back. I went home put on my pajamas and sat on the couch with my roommate. Cried a little, watched some Sinbad, laughed, talked about the awesome TV shows we watched as kids and went to bed.

Before you feel too bad for me know that I was fired purely for polotical/beauraucratic reasons. In Chicago a tenured teacher cannot be fired (or what ever you want to call it) it takes 5 years to become tenured. I was literally the last person hired at Harper. Harper was supposed to fire 14 teachers in September but becasue we are a "turnaround" school were allowed to keep everyone, even though some teachers suck. So me, another 08 TFA and 23 other teachers were called in to th office one at time during 7th and 8th period to hear the news. Some of us teach classes during those periods but they didn't care. Luckily I do not teach a 8th period so I did not have to return to my class after the news.

It did feel good when about 6 of my kids came looking for me...becasue the kids know everything at Harper and usually they know things before we do...it was nice when CG came in to the English work room sat down next to me apologized with tears streaming down her cheeks about ditching my class that day. Then she say next to me for about 20 minutes and cried, she didnt say any thing. I knew then that Candise really did care that I was not going to be returning. "Candise, you are graduating, you won't even be here."
"But I want you to be here for my friends, I want to com visit you."

Clyde offered to put on a mask and fill a sock with rocks and bash in the Princepal's car for me. I loved that. I really did. Don't worry I told him NO. I told him to go talk with Butler instead, stage a peaceful proteset but not end up arrested because of anything.

I love those students. Even when I hate them. I love them more when I hate them. I love them the most when they are willing to break the law for me. Truth.

Nothing too exciting...

Week two of the semester is done and my class schedule is mostly, but not officially, worked out. I now have a total of 4 classes - 3 12th grade English and 1 11th grade English. Teachers are supposed to only have one prep - class, ie: all 12th grade or all 11th grade, but for what ever reason I am the only teacher with 2 preps. Of course. Oh well, I like my 11th graders.

This past week was kind of crazy. The kids are in full Prom Fever Swing! Prom is their life, the pinnacle of what to look forward to. It is sad but for many of them this might end up being the nicest event of their lives. Our girls spend about $600-1000 getting their dressed custom made. Heaven forbid they by a dress off the rack. Many of my girls went fabric shopping this weekend. When I tell them I bought my dress a few days before prom, bought the first one I found in my size they freak out! I have yet to mention that I only went to my junior prom...I think I'll keep this one a secret...I actually don't even think the juniors go to prom here...unless they are asked...

Well, Friday a ton of kids were not in class. I saw most of them around but they were not in class. The Dance team had a pep assembly. As far as I can tell it was unsanctioned. I know for a fact I did not sign any slips allowing my dance team students to miss class in order to preform at every lunch...most of my dance teams kids are failing... the two captains and the coach were off campus at dance competition. Knowing out students the dance team just decided to wear their uniforms and dance at the lunch periods. Making the kids all crazy!

I am going home this Thursday, going to Albuquerque. I cannot wait! I miss home. I miss mountains. I miss dirt, there is no dirt in the city. I mean there is no dry, fine, was never mud kind of dirt. In the city there is sand, but not dirt.

Ms. Miranda Come Back!

Yesterday I was eating lunch during my fifth period class...I was not in class because they are supposed to pay you more if you teach more than 5 classes and I guess you cannot teach four in row...so I was enjoying some leftovers (because you know I cook regularly now) while my co teacher was supposed to be administering a test to the kiddies....

Next thing I know, Doni and Shay bust in to the work room all worked up (haha) about something and are yelling - because that is the prefered volume for Harper kids - albeit apologizing for interupting our lunch.worktime....that was nice of them.... essentially this is what happened...

"Ms. Miranda, we left out because wes not be doing anything in there...I know Ms. Miranda I cmplained because you be givin us too much work but I WANT SOME WORK! (hand thrusts out towards me) She not be doing anyhting, that wite lady, all them kids be messin around, Come back! That white lady is just standing there she said 'I am not even a real teacher, I am not your teacher Ms Miranda is your teacher, and I dont have anything for you to do...I dont know waht you are supposed to be doing, I am the SPECIAL ED teacher I can only give these kdis grades....then she read the names... Ms. Miranda be our teacher agian"


1. Co teaching is about doing what is best for all the students in class...I work very hard so the kids dont know the real reason why there are two teachers in the room...they are just "fortunate to have two teachers to help you...."
2. HELLO Student confidentiality...YOU CANNOT READ OFF THE ROSTER OF IES KIDS! DUH!
3. Where do they finds some of these people...White Lady...if you can't handle it get out of the Kitchen....that's why we pay security....
4. Those kids are not even that bad!!! they talk they walk around, but the are good kids...White Lady needs to step it up and DO HER JOB!
5. She is one the 11th grade team she has the lesson plans and is provided with the same materials I am...NOTHING. She should have DONE HER JOB and prepared for class...especially since this was her 3rd day with them and she KNEW I WASNT going to bee there!
6. Seriously where do they find these teachers!

Slap Heard Around the Stairwell...

I slapped a kid today.

After running around the entire building during 3rd period today looking for my co-teacher...who is NEVER where she should be...(I think she hides from me...because I make her work...haha! well, DUH!) I was running down the main stairwell when I saw a Fulton*....I knew the other 3 were close behind. Before I have the chance to see any of the others or finish say "hey Arsenio," my Matrix reflexes kick in and I am dodging a water bottle that is enroute directly at my face! Now, while normally I would have been pegged in the face with said water bottle I am current TEACHER MARGI, so these Matrix reflexes I actually possess! They all immediately stop and back up against the wall and start apologizes like there is no tomorrow, even the ones that didn't do anything. Because I know the Fulton Brothers I know, even though technically I didn't see, that Michael (the non-Fulton) threw the bottle. I took two steps towards him and the all stoped - silent for the first time, maybe ever... he lifted his hands and I slapped him...He knew it was coming. I looked them all in the eye as I turned down the stairs. The other three busted up laughing...and I definately did too! Security came running...always too late, and I just looked at them and continued on my way...

*The Fulton Brothers are quadruplets...three of which go to Harper, there are actually 13 total Fultons, I think 5 go to Harper, not all of them have the last name of Fulton, one is named Michael - not entirely sure I believe he is related to the quads but is ALWAYS with them...they are never in class, always wandering the hallway, ALWAYS! Together, they following me around, always appearing in my classes, I don't offcially have ANY of them! Aaron, the oldests likes o ask me to marry him everyday...then the asks for a divorce when I start repremanding him for not being in class...so this also happens daily!

Before you call the authorities on me know that I NEVER do this! I am suprised that I did... but because it was the Fultons I deem it ok. I deem it Hilarious! If you think the Fultons were upset with me then you better believe that 2 of the four tried to break in to my 8th period "but we love you, we don't like our 8th period teacher...come on let us in...please?"


---

Today is day two of the 8 classes a day for 45ish minutes. I love it. They day flies by, I don't have time to be tired. I actually ran out of time and didn't get to all the reading! That has NEVER happened before!

Today was also Senior Skip Day Part 1...apparently this is a 4 part spectacle!

I implemented a seating chart for my crazy 2nd period 12th grade class...which I think having a seating chart for 12th graders is DUMB...but this class needs it...I had a whole speal about how they could "win" back the right to sit where they want. but of course because of Part 1 of the Four part Series all the kiddos I needed to hear my seating chart soap box were Abesnt!

Such is life!!!

Mondays are for changes...

I think the weather is getting to me... tomorrow we will be back in the negatives... I never had an issue with negative numbers but now I hate them... They hurt me, especially my legs...my legs were not meant for this weather...and it really hurts the no brushing the hair thing I have going...leaving the house with wet hair I am pretty sure is a bad idea.

Monday the 26th is the first day of our spring semester. I am 90% sure that I am will have all new classes with all new kids...up till now I have been teaching the 11th grade - now I am teaching the 12th grade... While this is good for me in terms of creating lessons, having more freedom and what not I am losing my 11th graders...

I am really happy and excited to teach the 12th grade for one I now have 3 sections of English instead of just one.. but I feel like ultimately all these changes does an immense disservice to our kids.

What would be better?

It is 8:52 pm and I am in bed. My heart hurts and I want to cry. This one is going to be complainy.

I think I am over my head. I know there was a reason, a real reason why I wanted to this, specifically in Chicago. I know I said something to at lwast one person that was genuine real reason to be here for something bigger than me. I know I can still tell you what that is if you give me a minute. But really at this moment I cannot. I go to work everyday and fall in love with my kids. Who really do have the potential to be amazing, to bash in the stereotypes. But then they leave and I fall out of love with Public School.

I ran around the building today trying to figure out what to do about grades for my credit recovery kids...my kids who are in serious danger of failing out of high school so they are taking online credit recovery classes - that are hard, that were brought to Harper from someone at Jones College Prep high School - our kids are not the kids that can teach themselves, not yet. But essentially that is what credit recovery is...so out of 140 kids in the program ony 20 have passed and finished a couse...about $40,000 of wasted funds.... "What do I do about my special ed kid that was in the course, even though he shouldn't be and i have been trying to get him out since week one? He finished but has a 27%..."
According the final authority on credit recovery at my school I fail him....I refuse to fail a child that legally has the right to certain resources and modification....I refuse to fail him because we did not provide for him... we did not give him the things he needs... I was told to fail him becasue there was nothing else we could do... This coming from the person who can give me a solution...so what did I do...I didn't give him a grade... I am sure I will be called to the office at somepoint...if they notice...

Tomorrow I either will get more English classes to teach or will continue to teach one English class and have four credit recovery classes... I want English classes.... I didn't move to Chicago to not teach English... I want to be an English teacher...at least right now I do. I hate everything about only having one class... I know the grass is always greener and IF I get a full load I will complain about all the work...but then at least I would be doing something...I am not if I ever felt useless before...I feel like a waste. A teacher who the security gaurds call Ms Computer Teacher... because I push around a computer cart for my almost fail outs... who I love.

One down...so much more to go...

< Some of my kiddies!!!

I am one away from having taught my first semester of high school English. I really cannot believe it. I have almost been in Chicago for 6 months. I have almost been out of school for almost 8. Where did the days go? I am going to sleep and waking up each day and moving along to get right back in to bed...for what? I am not sure if I am putting in the best effort I can muster.

I cannot believe I have been here this long. Other TFAers would say "as long as you make it to November you will be fine." Then they said, "You just have to make it to winter break, then you will be fine." Then it is spring break, then you are done with your first year and you are apparently golden...I have feeling fairly rusted at the moment. Perhaps this goldeness comes on fast.

Harper has not changed much. Only two teachers did not come back after the break. Only one really fled the scene, jumped ship. So that is impressive considering people were anticipating about 8 teachers no returning. Granted next year is a whole new question. I have only talked with 4 teachers who want to stay. Three TFA teachers (1 being me) and one teacher who is pregnant. Everyone else is looking for jobs...I am sure it is not everyone but it seems that way.

I want to cry about it. But I won't. Not yet at least.

I cannot imagine spending my entire education know that my teachers didn't want to be there with me. The more I pay attention the more I realize that very few people go in to teaching to teach, very few people are here for the kids...I know how silly of me to think otherwise... I cannot help but think that there are people who have been at Harper for 10 + years because they want to be there for the kids...it was upsetting to realize that they have stayed because it is easier to not look for a liberal arts teaching job. These teachers I am talking about are terrible teachers. One is in my department, has been teaching here for 18 years, she gives the students worksheets and then sits at her desk for the remaining 85 minutes. She supported giving them a standardized test as their final and then awarding them completion grades since the test did not assess anything we actually taught them...she is a grade inflater thus her students are passing...I cannot bring myself to repect her or take any advice from her...

I am finding it harder and harder to know what to think...