ExtraOrdinary

I don't consider myself to be the type of girl that listens to "angry chick rock;" however,  I do love me some Fiona. Especially "Extraordinary Machine." My former roommate, Hendrick, used to make fun of me because my favorite song of hers was the title track to an album. "The title track can't be your favorite song, that is lame!" Perhaps he is right but I dont care I love it! SO - Here is some "Extraordinary Machine"  Thanks Fiona Apple.

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes   

(anyone who knows me knows that I love shoes, and yes these are new!) 

And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around   

(I would say that over-involved began to describe me in the 3rd grade) 

I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb   

(But all the sights there are to see!) 

But I'm good at being uncomfortable so I can't stop changing all the time   

(I've learned to be awkward from the best of them! I think being uncomfortable is how you grow, how  you figure out what it is that you do actually want.)   

I noticed that my opponent is always on the go  

And won't go slow so as not to focus and I notice  

(This is probably true... remember my last year of college, when did I breath? I stack those plates high  on purpose, there is no denying that)  

He'll hitch a ride with any guide as long as they go fast from whence he came   

(I think that people often "run" from confrontation, especially from those that they trust and want to be  trusted by.) 

But he's no good at being uncomfortable so he can't stop staying exactly the same   

(This idea aggravates me.)   

If there was a better way to go then it would find me   

(I'm not saying that I would take it, I have been known to seek out the hard way.) 

I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me   

(I like the hard way, there are more opportunities to learn things, meet people, figure out how to deal,  heartache can be a good thing (sometimes).) 

Be kind to me or treat me mean   

(But always be honest.) 

I'll make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine  

(At least I want to be.)   

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day  

 (Disasters are relative) 

You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay   

(The way I see it, shouldn't I be the one determining this...) 

I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way   

(In the words of Big D and the Kids Table..."I will not be a slave to time, time must learn to roll with  me.") 

And say I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

(I find this pessimistic)

 Fiona was talking about relationships or probably a specific relationship - I'm talking about it all. If you know me, I assume you do or why would you be reading my blog (creep), you know commitment freaks me out, relationships make me ramble and stumble, time stresses me like none other and that I have all the heart it takes to love you if you want me to. (Sometimes even if you don't - Dan)  Love of course being all forms of love. I think it make sense. There are too few moments and too many memories not to love each one. Too many smiles I've been blessed to have not to be thankful. Too many hours of nothing but pure laughter for laughter sake not to appreciate those that I love.  

Some really "important" female writer of sometime between 1970 - 1985 wrote once, "when two people meet, some form of love occurs." I agree with that. Now, your most likely thinking "what about when you meet someone and they suck and you know just as Pooh Bear knows he loves honey that you cannot like this person let alone spend another second with them!" My response - love occurs, even if it within yourself, even if it a greater appreciation (love) for those you know that are nothing like this person, love for the fact that you have the ability to recognize who you do not want to be like. 

In case you don't know me that well, know that I definitely do not love everyone. Many yes - some people say that is wrong, but they must not have met the people I know - I have little patience for what I think is a waste. Even less patience for people who don't care about the people they surround themselves with. I mean you KNOW I think most people underestimate the idea of community.  

I've been thinking about Nepal more these days. I think I don't know how I get there. Not literally. I mean I know how to buy a ticket and pitch a small tent. What I think I am unsure of is how I take the time to go. Funny, I like to think of myself as someone who is a "Free Spirit" (To barrow from Tamara) but I like being a contributing member of society. I like having responsibility. So I how do I take this need for contribution and still pack up and go on the adventure of my life, find the people that have sparked years of curiosity, climb the mountain of all mountains. I just to it. Right. Right.  

I enjoy Anthony Bourdain. 

 

Absenteeism

To Whom It May Concern:

Please excuse Margi from her absence. She has been preoccupied. She will try harder to get it together.

Thank you.

Sigh...

So its been almost a year since I last wrote on this thing. I can't believe that much time has passed. It is going by so quickly, too quickly. I am not ready for what lies ahead. So many things.

2010.

New school, new students, new friends, same commute - mostly, new books, better books, same tiny apartment - tiny, feeling so tiny, same messy desk, same qualms with the dryer, new love for lil wayne - hahahahah but seriously, same best friends, same favorite person in the world, new like interests, new shopping patterns - much more dangerous! Same love for a dance party, new people to D.A.N.C.E. with, same love for NEW MEXICO, new love for CHICAGO, new roommate, some love for the old ones. Same feeling of overwhelming disorganization! 

"I used to be a writer." Can you stop being a writer? Am I vacationing? Can you vacation from something like writing? I wonder? I was reading my friends blog and she mentioned that she journaled for 45 mins the other night. I thought, "Man, I used to write for hours, drink cup after cup of miserable coffee and write, write, write, write and doodle." I cant remember the last time I wrote something for real. It was probably in class. Not the last writing class I took because we didn't write in that class....PS: Don't take Diane Thiel...you don't write in her class...we talked about what we "wrote about." So that must mean that the last time I actually wrote something was in Greg Martin's class (HOT!). Three years ago. Sad. I used to be writer. 

It is cold. Very Cold. 

Things are changing...for the better...which is for the best.

I used to hate it here. Here being Chicago. Not just because of the snow, the traffic, the lack of trees, the lack stars, the nonexistence of mountains. Not just because of those things. I hated it here because I felt so different. I was in place where no one knew me, a very new feeling for me. Not to be self absorbed but I was spoiled by Albuquerque. I used to hate it because there was no air to breath that tasted like rain. No dirt to whip away after a strong breeze. No cold flashes under the 110 degree sun. I miss that! 

I love it here. Sure it's cold. The blistering wind is similar to the dust blowing New Mexican zephyr. I can't really saw what it is, what changed my mind. I have actually become more busy so I've seen my friends less. So, it can't be that. I wonder what it is? This slushy snow is annoying. Waiting for the bus when it is -15 out sucks. Regardless, I like it here. I'm happy here. 

So I agree, Chicago - Mid West city, best city in the whole wide....mid west. (Sorry I can't give it the world....there are too many places out there!)

ACT APT

Remember how bored you were taking the ACT?


Well, try proctoring it, or worse yet supervising it. Watching 9 students take the ACT is probably the most boring thing I have ever done. If not the most definitely in the top 3.

With that said I must admit that sitting and walking around the room while my one group of students struggled with their OMITS And NO CHANGE responses I felt a sense of "grown up" -ness. I decided that proctoring the ACT not only makes me more grown up than I am willing to but also more of a teacher than I was a week ago. I mean how many people do I know that have had to sit through the silent misery of watching 17 year olds fill in bubbles.

As test supervisors we were not allowed to do anything. I couldn't grade papers, read, eat clementines - nothing. According the rule book I wasn't even allowed to drink the water they gave me during snack time. But since they gave it me I drank it. I know - REBEL! 

I had one kid get his test invalidated because he went back and filled in bubbles from test 1 during test 2. I was the only one who had to invalidate a test. 

This made me think....perhaps I am too much. Too much of a rule follower. I could have easily turned my head and said nothing and the kid would have finished his ACT and life would have gone on. I'm not sure if I feel bad. It was only a practice. So it doesnt really matter....I mean really...right???

Anywho...I don't want to have to sit through that again. 

You gave me a cart and then you fired me!

"you are already crying... This letter is to inform you that you are not being invited back next year..."

It's official I have been fired, laid off, not asked back, cut for budget reasons, cut because I do not have tenure and the Chicago Teachers Union is a load of crap. What ever you call it I will not be returning to Harper High School next year. I will not have a room a Harper, I will not be pushing the lap top cart around in the 09 10 school year. I will not need to find someone to let me in the women's bathroom next to the English department ever again. If you know me, you know I cried about it. I did. I cried. I had a beer with some other teachers that were also not invited back. I went home put on my pajamas and sat on the couch with my roommate. Cried a little, watched some Sinbad, laughed, talked about the awesome TV shows we watched as kids and went to bed.

Before you feel too bad for me know that I was fired purely for polotical/beauraucratic reasons. In Chicago a tenured teacher cannot be fired (or what ever you want to call it) it takes 5 years to become tenured. I was literally the last person hired at Harper. Harper was supposed to fire 14 teachers in September but becasue we are a "turnaround" school were allowed to keep everyone, even though some teachers suck. So me, another 08 TFA and 23 other teachers were called in to th office one at time during 7th and 8th period to hear the news. Some of us teach classes during those periods but they didn't care. Luckily I do not teach a 8th period so I did not have to return to my class after the news.

It did feel good when about 6 of my kids came looking for me...becasue the kids know everything at Harper and usually they know things before we do...it was nice when CG came in to the English work room sat down next to me apologized with tears streaming down her cheeks about ditching my class that day. Then she say next to me for about 20 minutes and cried, she didnt say any thing. I knew then that Candise really did care that I was not going to be returning. "Candise, you are graduating, you won't even be here."
"But I want you to be here for my friends, I want to com visit you."

Clyde offered to put on a mask and fill a sock with rocks and bash in the Princepal's car for me. I loved that. I really did. Don't worry I told him NO. I told him to go talk with Butler instead, stage a peaceful proteset but not end up arrested because of anything.

I love those students. Even when I hate them. I love them more when I hate them. I love them the most when they are willing to break the law for me. Truth.

Nothing too exciting...

Week two of the semester is done and my class schedule is mostly, but not officially, worked out. I now have a total of 4 classes - 3 12th grade English and 1 11th grade English. Teachers are supposed to only have one prep - class, ie: all 12th grade or all 11th grade, but for what ever reason I am the only teacher with 2 preps. Of course. Oh well, I like my 11th graders.

This past week was kind of crazy. The kids are in full Prom Fever Swing! Prom is their life, the pinnacle of what to look forward to. It is sad but for many of them this might end up being the nicest event of their lives. Our girls spend about $600-1000 getting their dressed custom made. Heaven forbid they by a dress off the rack. Many of my girls went fabric shopping this weekend. When I tell them I bought my dress a few days before prom, bought the first one I found in my size they freak out! I have yet to mention that I only went to my junior prom...I think I'll keep this one a secret...I actually don't even think the juniors go to prom here...unless they are asked...

Well, Friday a ton of kids were not in class. I saw most of them around but they were not in class. The Dance team had a pep assembly. As far as I can tell it was unsanctioned. I know for a fact I did not sign any slips allowing my dance team students to miss class in order to preform at every lunch...most of my dance teams kids are failing... the two captains and the coach were off campus at dance competition. Knowing out students the dance team just decided to wear their uniforms and dance at the lunch periods. Making the kids all crazy!

I am going home this Thursday, going to Albuquerque. I cannot wait! I miss home. I miss mountains. I miss dirt, there is no dirt in the city. I mean there is no dry, fine, was never mud kind of dirt. In the city there is sand, but not dirt.

Ms. Miranda Come Back!

Yesterday I was eating lunch during my fifth period class...I was not in class because they are supposed to pay you more if you teach more than 5 classes and I guess you cannot teach four in row...so I was enjoying some leftovers (because you know I cook regularly now) while my co teacher was supposed to be administering a test to the kiddies....

Next thing I know, Doni and Shay bust in to the work room all worked up (haha) about something and are yelling - because that is the prefered volume for Harper kids - albeit apologizing for interupting our lunch.worktime....that was nice of them.... essentially this is what happened...

"Ms. Miranda, we left out because wes not be doing anything in there...I know Ms. Miranda I cmplained because you be givin us too much work but I WANT SOME WORK! (hand thrusts out towards me) She not be doing anyhting, that wite lady, all them kids be messin around, Come back! That white lady is just standing there she said 'I am not even a real teacher, I am not your teacher Ms Miranda is your teacher, and I dont have anything for you to do...I dont know waht you are supposed to be doing, I am the SPECIAL ED teacher I can only give these kdis grades....then she read the names... Ms. Miranda be our teacher agian"


1. Co teaching is about doing what is best for all the students in class...I work very hard so the kids dont know the real reason why there are two teachers in the room...they are just "fortunate to have two teachers to help you...."
2. HELLO Student confidentiality...YOU CANNOT READ OFF THE ROSTER OF IES KIDS! DUH!
3. Where do they finds some of these people...White Lady...if you can't handle it get out of the Kitchen....that's why we pay security....
4. Those kids are not even that bad!!! they talk they walk around, but the are good kids...White Lady needs to step it up and DO HER JOB!
5. She is one the 11th grade team she has the lesson plans and is provided with the same materials I am...NOTHING. She should have DONE HER JOB and prepared for class...especially since this was her 3rd day with them and she KNEW I WASNT going to bee there!
6. Seriously where do they find these teachers!